A Good Relationship is built by
- Is when you meet for the first time, when everything is unknown and you don’t know them at all. When you gravitate towards one another and you connect. You begin to get to know each other for the first time, their smile, laugh, stories, personality and so on.
Then it goes deeper, you’re not “dating” and you see their habits, their emotions, how they handle life, what they love, what they dislike. You begin to sleep over, go on long drives and adventure, late nights, early mornings and so on.
It’s been years or even months and you get married or have a baby. You’re committed to one another and move in together if you haven’t already. Most get married first but at times a baby comes in before that. That’s when all the shadows, triggers, deep emotions and traumas mostly come. Here is where we need to hold each other through the pain and level up together, if not relationships fall apart. You see every facet and angle of your partner. This stage of love is committed and babies. Babies bring out everything that you’ve buried beneath you and have forgotten about.. or have been suppressed. It shows you more than you’ll ever realise.. only when you’re in it, you’ll see it and completely understand the depths of one another.
From what I’ve seen, many man find it hard to hold space, to commit, to level up and heal together. To be there for their partner, a newly mother.
The next stage is when the kids are all grown up and they’re no longer living at home. It’s just you two again.
Every stage you fall in love with a new person.
It’s to forgive, to love unconditionally, to commit, to understand, to be held accountable and move through each other’s darkness together. Because, we’re all holding onto something and if you don’t think you are, wait until you have kids, they’ll show you anything that is hiding away. It might not even be your pain, but generational.
It’s to know where they’re at and communicate about each others need. I could go on and on.. overall it’s to commit through every chapter, to work together.